Wednesday, December 16, 2009

My Pleasure... and I'm not feeling TOO guilty about it!

The latest challenge is up at at All About Me and our challenge to you is... what is YOUR guilty pleasure???  What do you just LOVE but don't always admit outloud to others.  How do you feel about sharing that through what you love to do the most?  Scrapbook!!  I have to admit, my "guilty" pleasure is something I don't really feel guilty about!  So much so that I'm about to get very transparent here..

All my life I've had self-esteem issues.  This may be a big surprise to some who have only known me the past 5 or 6 years.  I've never been a skinny kid.. well.. at least beginning about 4th grade anyway... And kids are mean.  They will use any opportunity to make someone else feel bad so that they can feel good.  Now that I'm older and wiser, I know that all that teasing mostly stemmed from those kids feeling inadequate and also having self-esteem issues.  Anyway, through elementary and middle school - even a little bit of high school, I would hear certain verbiage from certain mean kids directed towards me.  I wore a mask that basically made it seem it didn't bother me, when down deep, it hurt worse than anything.  A lot of my weight issues came from emotional issues that were a result of childhood abuse and not knowing how to cope properly.  As I got older and began to develop TRUE friendships and met people who could see below the surface, my self-esteem began to take a turn for the better.  I began to accept the fact that I was someone that people liked and wanted to have around despite my size.  And while I definitely did NOT want to be the "heavy girl", I also began to understand that true beauty lies much deeper than the skin.

As I've gone through my recovery from my childhood and also have grown in my relationship with the Lord there is one thing that has happened.... if there is a camera around, I must be in front of it.  It's okay.  You can laugh.  It is pretty funny.  Just ask anyone who has been near me when the cameras start flashing. This is only something that has transpired in the past several years as I've gotten more comfortable with my skin.  And while I know I could be healthier and lose some pounds, I also know that God thinks I'm beautiful and people love me and my friends care about me deeply.  It's humbling to say the least.  But you would never guess that when a camera comes out.  I am such a ham!

Here's the layout to prove it:


These photos are from a fun photo shoot that my friend Kirsten did with me and my roomies.  I was the first to get in front of the camera and had so much fun!  These ones with the frame and two ladies, who have become very dear to me, are my fave!

Thanks for swinging by and I hope you find time to come participate with us at All About Me!  It's already been such a healing process for me and we have a great group of ladies!  Not to mention a FAB Sponsor prize this month!!!

{Layout Materials}
Digital Elements - Sweet Tomato Designs


9 comments:

Clair said...

Oh, but Melissa. You're so photogenic - you look so beautiful on all of your photographs. Honestly! x

Lydia said...

Such cute photos, and a great and playful layout.

kirsten michelle said...

Hee hee!! Those are my pictures!! :o) Nice work, girl. Of course, you always pull off something amazing.

janis said...

love, love those photos!!! and your layout just makes those photos stand out!!!

thanks for dropping by at bella blvd boss. your support means a lot to me. ;o)

Melissa Elsner said...

Janis you are too funny!!!

Joyce said...

yummy and good for you.

Shimano (aka Christine) said...

Melissa what a touching story and I do know what you went through. My daughter who is larger has been the brunt of schoolyard bullying since she was 9, even to the extent of having to have an ambulance called to the school when she was 15 (and the school kept saying that it's just kids playing). She is now nearly 17 and has finally found true friends.
Love your layout. xx

Pamela said...

Love your layout!! :)

teacher jessy said...

I can somehow relate to you because I have never been a skinny person myself!! But I learn to accept myself, not easy but God created me that way :)

Oh I love that layout & it seems u ladies are having fun!!