Saturday, December 17, 2011

Standing on my Soap Box


So today's post is going to be a little bit different. There is something that has been bothering me the past couple of weeks and I think I just need to spew it all out. Don't worry. I have found a way to make this relate to paper crafting. ;) But just bear with me and understand that this is just a spew. I have no platform other than I need to get it out and if someone happens to read through this, I commend you.

Recently, I've been contemplating my friendships and what they mean to me. The people that are close to me in my life, know me and stick around. The ones who pursue me and spend time with me and the ones who are ready for a coffee date when I call. While I don't have any "best" friends, per say, I have gals in my life I consider my closest friends. My kindred spirits. My "go to girls". And here is why they are such the way they are in my life:  They don't give me B.S.

What I mean by that is, while they definitely encourage me, love me and give me positive feedback, they also tell me like it is. If I need to be told I'm being snarky, rash, too stubborn, judgemental, sloppy, etc., etc. They tell me. I love that. I need that. I think a true friend is not going to always tell you "oh you are beautiful" or "you are the best at what you do! Go for it!" Sometimes I need to hear "get off your high horse Mel".  Haha.. Okay. That might sound harsh but it's kind of true! I don't want to hear fluffy, nicey nice comments all the time. I need to hear the brutal truth. I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm not the best. I know I am not the most beautiful. And when I get a little inflated, I need to be reminded those things.

Let me clarify briefly: I'm not saying I want friends to put me down. Oh no no no. I want accountability. When I go to one of my gals for advice or just need to have a sounding board, I don't want some rainbows and fluffy clouds response. Unless, of course, my thoughts are perfect. *wink* I want good, honest, "makin me think" feed back from those I trust and love. 

The interesting thing with this is that my "love language" is Words of Affirmation. I feel loved when I am affirmed. Isn't that funny? Here I am asking to be torn down and to feel like I'm loved I need to hear quite the opposite. Well, in an interesting and twisted way, hearing the accountability from my friends IS like being affirmed too. And it makes me trust them even more. My friends aren't going to let me do something stupid. They will warn me ahead of time. *laugh out loud* 

Gosh I hope this all makes sense. I guess I just got tired of seeing all these lovey, overly positive quotes out and about. I'm all for being positive. I am all for encouraging and spurring one another on. I love that we encourage each other to see the beauty within us all. But when there is an honest need for accountability, bring it. Please. While we all should know we are beautiful and awesome women, we also need to know there are areas of our life that are messy and we just need to plug through it with the love and (again) accountability of our girlfriends.

And just because this is indeed my paper crafting blog, I thought I'd share a layout from the past that showcases two such friends of mine who make me loved by sharing the positive AND telling me like it is. So thankful for this women in my life.


::Supplies from October Achievement Kit at SFTIO::

So now that my rant is over and you made it through, bless your heart, do you have a friend (or friends) in your life you can count on the good and the accountability from? Are you like me where you appreciate the not so happy feedback with the gloriously uplifting words?

~ Melissa

2 comments:

jamie long said...

I definitely appreciate it! and it so much easier to accept when comes from a place of love than a stranger.

Bonita Rose said...

I completely agree with all u wrote.. when it comes fr a loved and cherished friend, it's sooo much easier to take than getting it fr someone that barely knows you.. here here.. xo hugs